I don't feel it necessary to reiterate my immense cluelessness in regards to the opposite sex. Just read my blog here or here. What I'm here to wonder aloud (or a-type) to you all now is: where exactly am I going wrong with seemingly promising prospects that suddenly and inexplicably go away? I have a long list of examples. I'll start with some from my dating site venture. There have been many women I've gotten to the final stages with, and had begun the process of conversing via email, who just suddenly stopped the correspondence without explanation. One girl I had invited to come to one of my shows. She had committed to come to the show, and meet me afterword if she felt like she wanted to. She called me the day of the show and told me she couldn't make it because of some emergency. That didn't bother me. However, the next day, she had “closed” our contact on the dating site with no explanation, and I never heard from her again. Not sure what I did.

Another girl had gotten to the point with me where we were speaking on the phone almost daily. We had just begun to discuss the prospect and logistics of relationships where those involved are separated by a continent (she lives in Alabama) when she, also, suddenly closed contact with me. Never heard from her again, never was offered an explanation.

Most recently was the woman I had mentioned in the “Pigeons” article. We had moved our communication off-site to regular email. And she had even begun to read this blog, including the above article that mentions her. She didn't seem bothered by being mentioned. We had both affirmed that we found the other very interesting (as I had, in fact, stated in the article), and she had even halfway convinced me to re-open earlier plans to visit Fort Collins, Colorado this year. I had planned to go to FC to visit spiritual sibling of mine, Mike, and she lives in nearby Denver. Then, about three weeks ago, she didn't respond to an email, and I haven't heard from her since. Was it something I said? Is there something in this blog that would frighten off would-be mates? Probably. I wish I knew, though. What am I doing that makes women drop me like a bad habit and flee like the wind, randomly, when things seemed to be going well?

I've been told in the past, many times, that I'm not nearly aggressive enough. This is undoubtedly true. But I don't think that explains these cases. Women often used to give up on me after being impatient for me to “make a move” or whatever. But, in all of the cases above, I never even had the opportunity to make a move, or was in fact moving forward as best as I  know how under the circumstances. Is there any hope for me? Sometimes I wonder. And people wonder why I don't mind being single…

I'm writing about this one 3 days after the fact, so my memory is limited. What is it with me and weird sci-fi dreams? I'm not complaining, I like them, but it is a little unusual. This dream seemed to be a perversion of the Battlestar Galactica world as created by the current Sci-Fi channel production.

As it starts out, I'm participating in a clandestine mission to retrieve some special explosives from a planet that has been occupied by a cybernetic race of beings that is at war with my people. Fortunately, my squad of specialists has the use of a special ship that is able to travel via “quantum relocation”, which is a fancy way of saying “teleportation”. This ship also is able to disguise itself through a sort of chameleon feature that makes the outside of the ship appear as something else. For this mission, the ship was configured to mimic a small building of an architectural style that is common on the planet that was our destination.

We arrived at the planet and exited our ship, which had fortunately appeared in a deserted and ruined former urban area. We set out to complete our mission. We found the explosives we were seeking fairly easily, and they had the appearance of simple plastic explosives. Our mission didn't hinge on our knowledge of what we sought, however, so none of us was aware of what was so special about them. At some point while we were gathering what we needed, someone set off an alarm, and an automated voice started droning that intruders had been detected, and that the authorities would arrive in 4 minutes. It may seem strange to tell intruders when they could expect the authorities, but the alarm had clearly been designed to warn the people who lived/worked in the building, not the intruders. We weren't sure if the alarm was a relic of the city that once was, or had been placed by the cybernetic enemies, but we took no chances and vacated the premises immediately. There was some necessary dramatic tension as we fled towards our craft, with the cybernetics on our heels. We narrowly reached the ship ahead of them, and engaged the QRD (Quantum Relocation Drive). However, the cybernetics were one step ahead of us, and somehow diverted our ship, causing us to relocate in the middle of one of their carriers. Here, we were captured an interrogated, politely, by human-appearing cybernetics. They seemed to have no desire to harm us, and were equally unaware of anything special about the explosives we'd been sent to retrieve.

There was a lot of “me” in this dream character I was playing. Rather than seeing these cybernetics as hated enemies, I was excited about the opportunity to ask them questions and learn about their “culture”. Apparently, I found out, it was a major sore spot with them that they were never able to understand music and the arts, and they couldn't understand why these concepts continued to escape their grasp. I offered to try to teach them in exchange for my life, but I never got any indication of whether or not they were interested  in the proposition.

At this point, we were placed back in our ship and, to our surprise, sent back to our home-world, which was the last holdout against their conquest. Our surprise turned to horror, as we arrived in orbit around the planet, in the midst of a unimaginably vast attack fleet which had already begun to severely bombard the planet's surface. My last memory in the dream was turning the ship around to confront a huge enemy attack ship, which seemed not even to notice us as we shattered against it's hull.

Those of you that have watched the new BSG can probably recognize the similarities that probably were the inspiration of the dream. But it's different enough to where a few minor detail changes could make it entirely different.

Wednesday is the day my co-worker, Robert, has off each week. On that day I have to help out with his duties, on top of my own. This week, he's on vacation all week. So every day is like Wednesday, even Friday, which I'm working as an over-time day. It's like a week-long hump. Like climbing a hill and not getting to coast down the other side. I used to not mind these 50 hour weeks and the paychecks they induce. But last year, we had half of our department quit/transfer/die all at once, and I had to work 50-70 hour weeks for several months. That just burned me out on the OT thing. Now, even as I have 2 co-workers on vacation, another is transferring, and still another has interviewed for a transfer that he hasn't heard back from. So, it could be like last year all over again, which I would absolutely dread. I think I'd look to transfer, myself, in that case. This job has become difficult. Not because of the job itself, that's easy. In fact, it's too easy. That's the problem. It has become so simple and tedious that it fails to engage most of my mind. And, since my mind is one that doesn't shut down or tune out, that means that I'm constantly being distracted by more engaging activities, like, I dunno, posting to my blog for example. I've never considered myself to be a sufferer of ADD (Although I have long suffered from AD&D), but I think I can understand what it is like to be unable to force yourself to focus on uninteresting things.

---

I'm considering moving. Not away from San Diego, just yet, but simply to get more space and reduce my commute. Robert's mother is renting out an apartment that he showed me last night that would almost double the amount of space I have available to me without increasing my rent. It would also reduce my commute from 20+ minutes to 5. Those are some pretty imposing pros, now the cons: It's kind of a dumpy old place, although it's being re-floored, re-carpeted, re-cabineted, re-painted, etc. Parking is limited. I think it comes with two spots, but having visitors might be difficult. It's a hotter part of town, too. But all in all, I'm leaning heavily towards getting it. They've got a couple more months of work to do on it, so I have some time to decide. I've talked to Mike, my current roommate, about coming with me, and he wants to check it out. The thing this all really hinges on is whether or not I can find a viable roommate in time.

(Reprinted from my MySpace blog, originally posted last Easter)

One
of my favorite purchases right now at Burger King is the “Angus Steak
Burger” @3.49 and a 9 piece Chicken Fries @2.69. When you add those
together, then add CA's sales tax, your total comes out to $6.66.
Hence, I've begun referring to this as “Lunch of the Beast”. It is
important to note that the amusing total has nothing to do with why I
often order this, as it is yummy. So, today I decide to stop by BK on
my way to work, on Easter Sunday. I decided that the poor sap stuck
running the BK drive-thru on Easter deserved a hearty chuckle so I
ordered my “Lunch of the Beast”. I, of course, didn't use those words
when ordering. Well, to my amazement, when he read back my total to me
over the intercom the total came out to $6.67. Apparently, on This
christian holiday, BK decided to ward off Satan from their cash
register by raising the price on one of the items I had ordered. At the
window, I mentioned (playing dumb) that the total for these items was
usually 6.66 and asked if they were raising their prices. He said my
total actually WAS 6.66, he just didn't want to say that over the
intercom. We both had a hearty chuckle. It was nice of the young fellow
to attempt to shield me from the influence of Satan for a mere penny.

Today was a day filled with good news. Isn't that what they say Good Friday is supposed to be all about? First, it started out with getting a call from my co-worker this morning to inform me that he was feeling better, so I wouldn't have to go in to work (on my day off) to cover for him. (I went in for 3 hours anyway, to finish up some work I got behind on while covering for him earlier in the week). So it had already started well. Then, as I was preparing to get ready for work, I was looking at my insurance policy for my car online. I have been planning to downgrade my coverage now that my car is paid off and I'm no longer required to carry comprehensive coverage. While I was looking at the policy, I noticed a something I didn't know I had, “Mechanical Breakdown” coverage. Essentially, it is like an extended, bumper to bumper warranty for the innards of my car. I immediately started kicking myself, because I could've used this last summer, when I had spent $1213.84 fixing the air conditioner (and power steering) on my car. (as told here). While I was kicking myself, I decided to give them a call, just for shits and giggles, to see if there were any chance they'd cut me a break and let me claim it…9 months after the fact. So I called, gave them the details, managed (miraculously) to find the work order and receipt from the repairs still floating around in my car, and crossed my fingers. “CJ”, the fellow on the line, said it couldn't hurt to try. I've heard that from my car insurance company before, just before they told me no. CJ called the place where I'd had my repairs done and then said he had to do some “processing” and that he'd call back. I had to get in the shower to get ready for work, but there was a message waiting when I got out. I called back, and got another person other than CJ, but she was just as nice. She asked for my information, and looked at my account. Now, if I were a betting man, I would've gladly wagered a large sum that they're answer would be a resounding and condescending “NO!” But, I would've lost that bet. To my amazement, the agent told me that they were going to honor my request, despite it being made 9 months late, and politely scolded me for not putting in the claim before having the repairs done. She was apparently unaware of the circumstances, because she informed me that I would have to go ahead and pay for the repairs and wait for reimbursement. I tried not to laugh. She said it was because the repair place wouldn't accept credit cards, which is funny since that is exactly what I'd originally paid with. But the gist of the story is, there's a check for nearly $1000 (there was a $250 deductible) on it's way to me as we speak. So, for at least the next few weeks, I have to refrain from my usual verbal abuse of “those scamming insurance companies” as a token of appreciation for this rare event.
Needless to say, I've delayed downgrading my coverage for at least the duration of my current policy, because I like the idea of having bumper to bumper warranty coverage for another 2 years or 40,000 miles.

ADDENDUM: I was remiss in omitting that the insurance company referred to above is GEICO. I am compelled to mention that now that I have since criticized them by name. I shouldn't call them out by name for the bad after not mentioning their name for the good stuff. (7/22/08)